Today I've decided to be one of those helpful authors and let you know what happens when you attempt to use copywritten song lyrics in your novel. So if you are not a regular reader of this blog, I'm guessing you found me because you just used those lyrics to Rapture by Blondie in your novel, and then you thought, "Wait. Can I do this?"

The answer is: yes and no.

I love using lyrics. I love all sorts of music (especially pop, rock, R&B, alternative, folk), and I find lyrics totally evocative of mood. So in many of my novels, lyrics are peppered in liberally.

That was the case in "Openly Straight," which comes out next June. My editor mentioned early on in the process that we'd need to get permission, and that it would cost us. What I didn't understand (and this is embarrassing, given that I'm not a first-time author), was that it would cost ME.

I do not want to name names, so I will be slightly evasive about artists here. But I will use actual dollar figures so you get a sense of what using lyrics might actually cost you.

I used a Hawaiian song made popular in the 1950s to evoke setting in a "mountain luau" scene. I also used a popular song from the 2000s by a megapopular female artist. That one was just me funnin' around with misheard lyrics.

We received permission to use the Hawaiian song. It will cost me $250 to do so. The publishing house (Scholastic, in this case) had its permission people send out a letter with information about the novel, what the song was used for, even a PDF of the actual page where it is used. This process took about 3-4 weeks, and in the front of the novel, it states that I have permission to use those lyrics.

We were turned down, however, by the female artist. I was so annoyed at first, but in the end this saved me a lot of money. I immediately re-wrote the scene with another misheard lyric, this one from a rock group. It is actually one of the most-played songs in radio history, if that interests you. They came back and granted permission, but the cost was $650 for the four lines I used.

By the way, this is not unusual from what I hear. Lyrics are expensive!

So I was faced with a choice: pay $900 to use two songs, $250 to use one, or nothing and re-write two scenes.

I chose the second option. I can afford the $250, and the song does in fact add to the mood of that important scene. The misheard lyrics joke, however, seemed way too pricey for this writer! Not that I am blaming the copywrite holder; they are totally in their right to charge what they will. But think about it from my perspective. How many books would I need to sell to pay for those lyrics? The answer is something in the neighborhood of 400 books.

Nah. Not at this point in my career.

Lastly, why, you might ask, would an artist deny permission to use lyrics? It's hard to know. No reason was given in this case. Perhaps she and her people didn't want people focusing on the absurd misheard lyric? Perhaps she and her people generally don't grant such permissions? I'll never know. I will say that unfortunately, it has colored my opinion of the artist a little bit. I had always liked her, but being denied use of a lyric, even for an exorbitant amount of money, left a bitter taste in my mouth.

So that's the deal with using lyrics in songs. My suggestion is to avoid it. Use the song title; it's free! Describe the music or the lyrical content. Otherwise, if you're going to use lyrics, make sure they are in the public domain (hint: old songs written not in this country generally are).