It's useless to write an article about Tebow in which I express a murky point of view. And my point of view has been murky. What else can you say about a quarterback who is sometimes incredible and miraculous on the field, but more frequently mediocre? What else can you say about a nice guy who is a spokesperson for an organization that has done great damage to the gay community, and keeps doing so?
But when I saw this article in Instinct Magazine called "Could Tim Tebow Become America's First Openly Gay Athlete?" today, I realized I probably ought to say some things that may or may not be popular with my gay brethren (and sistren).
Stop harping on Tim Tebow, my fellow gays.
Seriously. Stop.
I say this not as a fan of Tebow, but as a person who struggles with the polemical nature of our current society. The way we turn everything into an "Us vs. Them" argument is tearing at our seams. And as it turns out, the reality isn't as clear as us versus them.
The aforementioned article attempts to make a case that perhaps Tebow is gay, because:
A) In a post-game press conference one time, he gesticulated wildly with his hands.
B) He is an Evangelical Christian. Some Evangelical Christians, it turns out, are closeted homosexuals. Hence, he might be one, too.
Seriously? This is the argument?
I want to start by unpacking this first point. It seems to me that calling Tebow gay is nothing short of bullying. No one is saying "Tebow appears to be gay, and that's a GOOD thing." Calling him gay in this light seems to have negative connotations. Aren't we beyond this?
One of my greatest hopes for the younger generations is that boys of today find that they don't need to believe that the only way to be a man is to act like John Wayne. While many people have been instrumental in changing our society in this way, gays have played a huge role in opening up males -- both straight and gay -- to a level of self-expression heretofore untenable. Suddenly sensitive and emotional are not solely the domain of females and weird guys. I hate to use the over-worked term "Metrosexual," but this is in my view a very positive development of the past decade. Suddenly, boys are allowed to be more completely themselves without fear of reprisal. Likewise, the new dialogues of this past decade are allowing females of all sexualities to explore their full selves with less fear of being seen as "butch dykes."
I am greatly dismayed to see these stereotypes used by the very people who were tormented by them. I know I was tormented by other boys as a teen for being too emotive. To see gay people finger pointing and saying that someone who is emotive must be gay seems to me a massive step backwards.
As for the second argument: Hating all Christians because they are homophobic is no more fair than hating all gay people because they are left-wing lunatics.
Perhaps this is a function of living in Arizona, but it has become increasingly clear to me that gay and Christian are not mutually exclusive. Neither is it true that homophobic and Christian are always synonymous. Further, it is not at all true that just because I am a left-wing lunatic that all gay people are.
In fact, a great proportion of our nation is Christian. Some of those people do not like gays. I know this first-hand. Having been kicked out of a Catholic Church where I was supposed to speak in Montana helped me experience exactly what religious intolerance feels like.
But there are a great many Christians -- tens if not hundreds of millions, actually -- who are open-minded about sexual preference. Some are gay themselves. Others have a relative or friend who is gay. They've seen that we're all the same. That's how change is made -- one person at a time. Change is not made by stereotyping and grouping people unfairly. If we gay people worked half as hard as integrating ourselves into the lives of others as we do reviling those who hate us, the world would certainly be a better place.
Now, if Tim Tebow were out there spewing anti-gay rhetoric, I'd have a different opinion. However, I have seen absolutely no evidence that he has EVER made such a statement. The Instinct Magazine piece had to resort to calling the quarterback the "aggressively evangelical and anti-gay organization-associated Tebow."
Yes, he's associated with FOTF. Yes, I think those folks are in general hate mongers. However, there are other issues about which FOTF is vocal besides gay issues. One of them is abortion. Tebow clearly has strong opinions about that issue, as the commercial he was in during last year's Super Bowl attests.
That does not make him a homophobe; that makes him pro-life. These are not at all the same thing. In fact, people who say that all life is precious should be, by definition, pro-gay. Because, of course, gay people have as much of a right to live as all other people, right? If all fetuses have a right to a life of happiness, should we not extend those rights to all people once they are older? Of course this all hinges on whether people think homosexuality is a choice, which it most certainly is not. Anyhow, that's a topic for another time.
The moment Tebow goes on record saying that gays are evil or pedophiles or should not be allowed to raise children, I will change my tone. But for me to castigate him as a homophobe because he is rabidly pro-life is just wrong-headed. I have many Christian friends who are pro-gay and pro-life. Some of those friends are gay themselves. These are facts. Disagree as much as you want, but let's not start generalizing and grouping all Christian people, lest we fall into the very trap those who vilify gays have been falling into for decades.
What if we worked to marginalize those Christians who would strip us of our rights, who would happily see us all in jail because we are gay. They are not the moral majority. The majority of Christians, it seems to me, are wholly open to seeing people for what they are in their hearts. Gay or straight. Those are the people I'm interested in reaching out to, and I hate to see them turned off to my community because of petty name calling of a man who has the gall to openly pray to Jesus Christ.
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