There's nothing quite like the paralysis one can feel when starting a new novel.

So many choices! And these choices are about your new baby. People generally don't get to choose what their baby will be, but for authors, we have an element of control. Some use it more than others.

Just like with a human birth, we can decide to go natural, or say, "I want to feel as little as possible, thank you very much!"

In my MFA program, I learned much more about writing as a form of exploration. Sure, I learned a bit about story maps, but what I mostly learned was that a good literary story or novel was about finding out who a character was, and what happened to them. Sometimes we started with a clue of what was coming, and other times, we really had no idea. Often, the best stories we wrote were in this latter category.

In that realm, writing becomes a spiritually journey. At least to me. We have to have faith that there's a path and we just need to stay on it, and something will unfurl.

But since leaving my program six years ago, I've learned a lot more about the real world, particularly the real world of publishing. High concept. Meaning: a book with a concept that is highly marketable. You may wrinkle your nose at this, but hey, some of us would like to eat. Out of the Pocket was probably Low-to-Medium Concept. It had a marketable idea for sure, but for a niche market.

For what it's worth, I wrote OOTP as my MFA program would have me write it. I didn't know exactly where I was going, and I often surprised myself when I sat down to write. It was an exhilarating process.

Would I enjoy doing that again? You bet your ass I would. But a big part of me right now wishes to embark on a High Concept novel. Something that could allow me to make writing more profitable. The kind of book that doesn't only appeal to a certain audience, if you know what I mean.

I'm torn. My gay fans are truly important to me, and moreover, there is still a real need for LGBT YA books. At the same time, I'd like to break out of this mold. It is a bit confining. And I do have a few finished novels that are very publishable that fit that mold. I am really right now embarking on my fifth novel.

I have a bunch of ideas. Some of them are more "niche" and some are more "universal." Some involve futuristic worlds and even a little magic, the kind that people, you know, LIKE reading about. Some involve worlds that I was a part of. My soul yearns to write a novel about New York City in the 1980s, when AIDS was just beginning to decimate our society. I am fascinated by this period, probably because I lived through it but only peripherally, as a kid.

Yeah, not so High Concept there.

So what am I going to do? I don't know yet. Today is the start of a new journey for me. I have a few things I could go back to, one of which I was really enjoying. But that was an adult novel. I mean to write another one for teens.

Stay tuned. Should be an interesting month or so of exploration for me as a writer.