1:02pm: Our hero, in Boulder, Colo., and desiring a new cover for his Droid, enters the pretty Verizon store down the row from Smashburger, his lunch destination. Upon entering, he is greeted by a smartly dressed gentleman with a state-of-the-art computer clipboard-looking thing. He thinks: swank! This should be easy and fun.

1:03pm: Smartly dressed gentleman asks our hero what he's in for. Hero says he needs a new cover. Gentleman replies that they have several to choose from, and then he points toward them. Hero, having had many salesman experiences in his long life, begins walking in that direction. Gentleman puts up the universal stop sign. "I'll have the next free salesperson help you." OK, thinks our hero as he stops walking. They're busy. Makes sense.

1:06pm: Oh, but there it is! Yon cover for which he has been yearning, lo these many days! Glimmering, so beautifully glimmering. It's almost as if, in another universe, he could walk up, pick one out, and pay for it! Gentleman is standing still with his clipboard, waiting to welcome anyone else who might walk in.

1:09pm: Our hero, desirous to get back to his new place of employment in a timely manner, does a passive aggressive throat clear followed by some impatient pacing. There is no response from gentleman, who has done nothing but mouth breathe in the last three minutes.

1:13pm: At last! Another gentleman with a name tag is striding toward clipboard-holding gentleman! This 11-minute wait will soon be but a footnote, because our hero will have what he so desires in his possession.

1:13 to 1:15pm: The two gentlemen engage in a conversation. Apparently the first is telling the second what the now three waiting customers are waiting for. Our hero hears his name. This makes our somewhat-weary hero a little bit hopeful. At the same time, our hero wonders what the clipboard is for, if not to jot down this sort of information. Is it a prop?

1:16pm: Our first gentleman hands the clipboard to the second gentleman. Oh no! Second man is a clipboard holder, not a sales person! Where is first going to? Perhaps it is first gentleman's lunch hour. Perhaps he needs to visit the loo. Our hero looks at the new holder of clipboard and despairs: if only there was some system out there, by which a clipboard-holding salesperson might bring our hero what he wishes for, and perhaps take his money. If only.

1:17pm: Our hero remembers that Al Gore created the Internet for much this sort of purpose. He could use the Internet, and buy the same thing, and have it shipped to him. Oh joy! He can walk out of the insane store where he's been standing for 15 minutes, waiting for a freakin' Droid cover.